6/16- Thursday:
It started with going to the Dr. for the possibility of gall stones. That appointment ended with an ultrasound that changed my life. Ultrasound techs should never be allowed to leave a room and tell you to wait. They found something and I was sent home with an appointment for a CT Scan and no answers. That night involved severe pain and an ER visit with a CT Scan. I finally got some kind of answer, a massive growth on my ovary and the possibility of cancer.
6/20-Monday:
I went for another appointment with my regular Dr. I had some more bloodwork done and found out the growth they saw was about 30 cm (11.81in). I was then set up an appointment with a surgeon for 6/21.
6/21-Tuesday:
This appointment changed everything. He said they would be removing that ovary through laparoscopic surgery on 6/23 and after they removed it pathology would determine if it was cancerous or not.
6/23-Thursday:
I was a nervous wreck. I don't think anything can prepare you for surgery. I had never had to deal with that and I would never want to again. I went in at 845 am surgery was set for 1030 am. We were told it would last about 45 mins. I said my goodbye to my husband and his mom and they wheeled me off. The anesthesia is crazy and puts you to sleep so fast. When I awoke in the recovery room I knew something was wrong. I was hurting way more than I ever imagined and everyone was acting so weird. I finally got to go to my room and the clock said 245pm. I asked my husband if he knew what happened and he said no. So there I am laying knowing he is lying and I don't want to freak out so I just wait. His mom leaves to get a drink and he looks over and says "Okay, I need to tell you something. They had to remove both ovaries. It was bad." All I could say was okay.
6/24-Friday:
My surgeon came to talk to us. I had numerous cysts the two biggest were the sizes of a football and a basketball. I still have my uterus in case we choose to use someone's egg with my husbands sperm. But honestly I can't even figure out how I think about that. Adoption is also an option.Everything miraculously turned out not to be cancerous. Although I was waiting for it to be because everything just seemed to be getting worse and worse.
So after an incision that hurts like hell going up my stomach, the loss of my ovaries and all possibilities of having biological children, and removal of 42 staples I am completely numb. The sadness comes in heavy waves. I am sad for the many things in life we will not be able to experience the ways we wanted to. I am sad that not only we don't get that but our families don't either. It comes when I see the look on a friends face that they feel sad for me. Through all this we have seen the selflessness from others. Nothing from this time will be forgotten. We will never be able to thank anyone enough for their selfless acts of kindness.
Well thank you for reading my story. Bed is calling my name for I decided to go back to work tomorrow. I cannot stand being stuck in the house anymore.
3 opinion(s):
I cant even imagine what your going threw, My heart and prayers are with you.
Here from FNL...Oh Nicole, I can't even imagine going through all that. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I know you aren't even ready to think about it but, when you are ready to explore your options, check out Stirrup Queens and her amazing blogroll. There is an entire section on the blogroll of people who used donor gametes.
{{{Hugs}}}
Oh honey, I am so sorry. What an ordeal to go through. I can only imagine that the swiftness of the process gave you little time to grieve and think.
Thinking of you.
Many hugs!!!!
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